Reflections

Ive been thinking about the last year and everything that has happened and all the things that God has done. I cannot believe it. 2010 is coming to a close. where did it all go??? as i grow older the time seems to move more quickly. slipping by unseen and unfelt if we are not careful. It has been a crazy and eventful year indeed. My heart was broken to pieces this year, but it was also a summer of love with me and jesus. I have struggled this year like i never have before and yet I have some of the best stories of God's provision in my life, from this year. I met a whole new part of the family of God and have started serving in a new church. It is the first time in almost 7 years! I have also made some new friends that love Jesus and encourage me and remind me how good the love of my life is. I got to see my family this year! what  a blessing they are. It brings me to tears even as i write this to know that time is a precious things that i never have enough of when it comes to my family. I love them so dearly. Jesus has taken me to new places this year for sure. I have walked the desert and i have walked the ocean shore. I know there are still mountains and rivers and valleys and more deserts to cross. I cant say that I am prepared for everything but I know that He has carried me this far and he will continue to carry my through. I read an interesting quote that i love a few days ago : 

" when the storms of life come, don't be afraid to dance in the rain." I love it! 

I have been to weddings, baby-showers, and funerals this year. All a reminder of how fragile and precious the time we have is. I have cried more this year than i ever have before. tears of pain and of joy. The more time goes on the more i think my heart is softened to the people and circumstances around me. the more i begin to see, i think, what Jesus sees when he looks at us. Things are always changing, and we can never take back the moments we lost or gave away. 

these are a few photos from this past year: 

I started this year out with a few goals in mind and though i didn't accomplish all of them, I think i did alright. I wanted to grow closer to jesus and understand his heart better. I think that in His grace, I  have.

I wanted to get a new job and be a light to the people i work with. I am humbled to know that not only did i get a new job, but God has allowed me to be a light there and He reminds me of it all the time. I wanted to meet new people that love and encourage me in Jesus. He most certainly has brought people to me! I hoped to be in a relationship by the end of this year, though not a goal of mine, it definitely was a desire. That has not happened. - I think im completely ok with that. Jesus knows what i want, and he know what I need even better than I. I have come to realize that when Im not distracted and my heart is not in pursuit of people, I am more than completely captivated with Jesus. That is where i always want to be, He has always known me best. and since He has my heart, I know that He will give it to the right person at the right time. Im counting on Him :) I also wanted to at least start learning a second language this year. I gave myself till the end of 2011 to be fluent in a second language - that just means i have a lot of work to do this next year. I know I can though.

Jesus has been so good to me. I cannot believe 2010 is over. It is a bittersweet goodbye, for we will never have this time again, but memories that will last forever have been created and The future is tomorrow. God is good and I cant wait to see how he is gonna change, grow and use me in 2011, as well as everything around me. He is the Light of my world.

Love you Jesus. Thank you for the life that you have given to me. for the relationships and carrying me through the days i wasn't sure i was gonna make it through. Thank you for knowing my heart. that you for giving me all those desires and longings. and thank you that I can trust you with every one.

I want to be more and more in love with you. I cannot wait.

 <3 <3 <3

                                                                   -Heidi B.

Confirming Visions

Let me just share with you a Vision a friend of mine shared with me last night. He has seen this since he was a kid: "Everyone is outside. Thousands of people - as far as the eye could see. I walk out in the front (i dont even know why I was there, maybe  i was a speaker, idk why i was up there but I was) My wife was there and Jesus was there. The feeling that was there is inexpressable. The atmosphere charged with the presence of Jesus and the Spirit and all the presence of Heaven. The next thing I knew everyone and i mean EVERYONE was dancing in joyous worship to the Lord. It was an increadible sight to see. thousands of people dancing for jesus - then my eyes were open to the spirit and I saw. The angels were having a party right in our midst. as they were all dancing things being broken off everywhere i looked. People being healed, while they danced! people being set free from depression, demonic presence, fear, anxiety, while they were dancing. People getting saved and learning who Jesus is, while they were dancing!! in all of this, the dance steps of the crowd, just giving glory to Jesus was like a war march and the enemy was being trampled under our feet. I cannot even express to you the dynamic of what Jesus was doing. There were so many things going on yet it seemed like it was all happening in the same moment. And to Jesus be all the glory. I dont even know why I was there but I'm so glad I was and I know that it is going to happen. That is only a glimps Jesus is going to do even more before and after."
This is what He shared with me. Now THIS is the vision i was giving when i was 14-15 years old. A year after I stared walking with the Lord.
" There is a crowd of people outside. Thousands and Thousands. all different ethnicities. people that seemed they could have been from everywhere. and there i was. on my knees out in front. I was looking out over this gathering of people and tears were pouring down my face. but they were tears of joy! and I was smiling/laughing/couldnt really decide. I was so overwhelmed with the presence of Jesus and the Glory of the Lord. and so overwhelmed by the Love that was there. everyones hands were lifted in worship it was the biggest worship fest i have ever seen. Then as if on que from the front to the back everyone started Dancing. There was such a release in the spirit if you've never experianced it i cannot explain it. There was such Joy and abandonment. overwhelming love from jesus and from jesus people."

Wow God is sooo good. it so funny that when we look through his eyes and have His heart that we really do see and feel what He does. soo confirming.

Thanks Jesus. and I know that these things will happen cause its your heart.