Friday, October 21, 2011
A thoughtless afternoon
I had intended on writing a long blog and writing about all that has happened since i moved. I ended up journaling for nearly an hour. Come to find out there is not much of a story to share as of yet. Im still slightly confused. I am happy. Im learning, and not at all what I had thought. God is good. He surrounds me everyday. I cannot turn around without running into Him it seems. Its wonderful. I have a lot to learn, im sure im making some mistakes even now - but i know God is gracious. I pray that He will guide my steps and show me where to be today, and tomorrow. I don't dare look beyond that. There is too much in just now. I think I might start writing a book. and fill it with photographs as well. As the saying goes a picture speaks a thousand words so the book should hold volumes. :) Its been good to blog again. perhaps my mind wont be so long in pondering the idea next time.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
A Moving Adventure
Many people have asked why Im moving. Why the sudden move with no real purpose? Well here is the story behind the change, and there is always a purpose.
The year 2011 was already marked as a year for change. God had told me back in January. What that meant, Im really not sure. He has a way of being so very direct and vague all at the same time. Did it mean I was going on missions this year, or getting in a relationship? Did it mean I was moving down the street or across the country? Or did it mean things were going to happen completely outside my control and that it would affect me in a drastic way? I have no Idea. but I can say the first half of the year has already been filled with so much, if there was anymore I wouldn't have known where to put it. I have had the feeling since spring that I was going to move this year. No confirmed word, no one speaking over me; just a feeling. Then, in May I went to visit my family in Alaska. I went looking at it as the potential destination of my move. Upon coming home I had no draw, no stirring that Alaska is where I needed to be. As much as I LOVED seeing my family, that in and of itself is not a valid enough reason for me to move. I have family all over.
One thing that did keep coming up in my mind was the Carolinas. Mom would call and mention something happening there, I would see NC ballers when I walked by the TV in the gym. For some reason it just stuck out to me. So I began throwing it out there when I was talking w/ Jesus. Every time there was a yearning in my spirit. Like this might be it. then I would rationalize - what the heck is in Carolina?? I really don't know people there. The one person I do know keeps moving, so thats unstable, I have no job lined up, no churches that I know. Theres nothing to pull me there.... except for this stirring.
I went to Youth Group a few weeks later and we had a guest speaker. She spoke on trusting what God puts before you. Sometimes there are sacrifices that have to be made but the rewards, God's goodness far outweighs any sacrifice. And she talked about going. If Jesus says go, then go. Of COURSE that would be the message of the night. I went home after service and started writing letter to people close to me. I hadn't even decided if/when I was moving but as I began to write to these people it showed me where my heart was. The following weekend I had dinner w/ a friend of mine. She had no idea what had been going through my mind or even that I had thoughts on moving. Somewhere in the midst of our discussion it turned to God's blessings in peoples lives. How I am ready to drop everything and do what God wants me to do if he would put something In front of me. The wisdom that was returned was simply: "sometimes we have to move and have faith the God will bless us. instead of waiting for the perfect thing to fall into our lap." - and she didnt even know!!! When I got home I decided it best not to go to my Bible cause God probably had some confirming word He wanted to share with me and I wasn't quite sure I was ready to receive it. So I picked up a book I was reading instead. Low and behold the chapter I open to would be Learning to Surrender. After reading the chapter, It seems Jesus had found a way of giving me His confirming word anyways. I knew that I was moving. There are other details here and there that have contributed to my decision but non so great as these.
Since that time, less than a month ago, God has been so good to reassure me in my decision. I am so excited to see whats going to happen when I get there. I don't have any confirmed plans, I dont have a job waiting for me, I dont know anyone in the town that I am destined to, But I am at complete peace. Any sadness I may have at leaving the family of friends Im surrounded with is over shadowed by the excitement of what God has in store. God has blessed me with all that I have and I am honored to give it all away and to start again.
Ill keep you all posted on the adventure to come :)
and of course picture updates as well!
The year 2011 was already marked as a year for change. God had told me back in January. What that meant, Im really not sure. He has a way of being so very direct and vague all at the same time. Did it mean I was going on missions this year, or getting in a relationship? Did it mean I was moving down the street or across the country? Or did it mean things were going to happen completely outside my control and that it would affect me in a drastic way? I have no Idea. but I can say the first half of the year has already been filled with so much, if there was anymore I wouldn't have known where to put it. I have had the feeling since spring that I was going to move this year. No confirmed word, no one speaking over me; just a feeling. Then, in May I went to visit my family in Alaska. I went looking at it as the potential destination of my move. Upon coming home I had no draw, no stirring that Alaska is where I needed to be. As much as I LOVED seeing my family, that in and of itself is not a valid enough reason for me to move. I have family all over.
One thing that did keep coming up in my mind was the Carolinas. Mom would call and mention something happening there, I would see NC ballers when I walked by the TV in the gym. For some reason it just stuck out to me. So I began throwing it out there when I was talking w/ Jesus. Every time there was a yearning in my spirit. Like this might be it. then I would rationalize - what the heck is in Carolina?? I really don't know people there. The one person I do know keeps moving, so thats unstable, I have no job lined up, no churches that I know. Theres nothing to pull me there.... except for this stirring.
I went to Youth Group a few weeks later and we had a guest speaker. She spoke on trusting what God puts before you. Sometimes there are sacrifices that have to be made but the rewards, God's goodness far outweighs any sacrifice. And she talked about going. If Jesus says go, then go. Of COURSE that would be the message of the night. I went home after service and started writing letter to people close to me. I hadn't even decided if/when I was moving but as I began to write to these people it showed me where my heart was. The following weekend I had dinner w/ a friend of mine. She had no idea what had been going through my mind or even that I had thoughts on moving. Somewhere in the midst of our discussion it turned to God's blessings in peoples lives. How I am ready to drop everything and do what God wants me to do if he would put something In front of me. The wisdom that was returned was simply: "sometimes we have to move and have faith the God will bless us. instead of waiting for the perfect thing to fall into our lap." - and she didnt even know!!! When I got home I decided it best not to go to my Bible cause God probably had some confirming word He wanted to share with me and I wasn't quite sure I was ready to receive it. So I picked up a book I was reading instead. Low and behold the chapter I open to would be Learning to Surrender. After reading the chapter, It seems Jesus had found a way of giving me His confirming word anyways. I knew that I was moving. There are other details here and there that have contributed to my decision but non so great as these.
Since that time, less than a month ago, God has been so good to reassure me in my decision. I am so excited to see whats going to happen when I get there. I don't have any confirmed plans, I dont have a job waiting for me, I dont know anyone in the town that I am destined to, But I am at complete peace. Any sadness I may have at leaving the family of friends Im surrounded with is over shadowed by the excitement of what God has in store. God has blessed me with all that I have and I am honored to give it all away and to start again.
Ill keep you all posted on the adventure to come :)
and of course picture updates as well!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Songs
Overwhelmed
When I see your face, When I hear your voice,
When I look in the eyes of the one I love,
When I Hold your hand, When we walk together,
All fear is gone in a moment.
I Will sing. I will shout.
I cant stay silent anymore.
Im overwhelmed, with this love.
Im overwhelmed with the one who loves me
Your my better half. Your my whole, my everything.
All I have, all I need.
All I long for in this life, you satisfy.
Just who you are. you satisfy.
Now, I will sing. I will dance.
I will rejoice with the heavens
You are God. You are King.
Beginning and the end, everything.
I stand firm; not confused.
I am wrapped in the arms of the one who brought me through.
I am in his army. I am on my knees,
with a sword in my hand, my eyes on the one who gives command.
We are fighting for his kingdom
to take back those who were taken from Him.
He says run and I will run.
He says stay and I will stay.
He says lose yourself and I lose myself in Him.
and, I will sing, I will dance.
I will fight beside the one took my hand.
His love is overwhelming.
Im overwhelmed with the one who loves me, with His love.
Lord's Vision
He is the dreamer.
I am the dream,
A walking vision of the Lord.
I cannot fathom you mind Lord.
I do not understand your ways
Yet my Love continues to unfold
as i discover yours again.
and i know, I am the dream of a king.
A lily in the valley,
did you dream of me there?
A stream of cool waters,
Did i dance by its shore?
the Teacher of good,
Did I sit at your feet?
How did you picture you and me?
You are the dreamer
I am the dream.
A Walking vision of my Lord.
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