His encouragement to me

Christopher and I had an awesome talk the other night. We talked about hearing the voice of the Lord and responding to it. Jesus speaks. but do we listen? I talk to Jesus every day all day. the term constant companion is a reality of my everyday life when it comes to the Lord. I do find it interesting though that more times that not im chattering away. "Lord this and Lord that and oh ya did you know . . ." dont get me wrong Jesus wants to hear and loves to hear about our days, our worries, struggles, joys, hurts, trials and accomplishments. But when were all done talking we should listen to what Jesus wants to say. I need to put into practice sitting in silence at the feet of the Lord. I dont want to miss anything that He has to share with me.

Its so crazy because over the last few months God has done and is doing a work in my heart. I have come to know him leaps and bounds more than i did even a year ago. it really is crazy to think about. anyways we were talking and I asked Him that when He decides to bring a man into my life, that i would be oblivious until the He opens my eyes to that man. I dont want to persue anyone, I dont want to think about anyone, I just want me and jesus and people that encourage our relationship. I want to be a woman that is constantly seeking after God's heart. I want to be broken for those whom He is broken  for. i want to have Joy over the the things He has joy over. I want to see people the way that He sees people. I want to speak love into their lives. The love of jesus that saves and heals and encourages and restores. I want to be grace and blessing In the lives of those around me, because i want them to understand that Jesus is Grace. I want all these things because I know that Jesus will be glorified in it. I want to Golrify my Jesus. I want to put a smile on His face evertime he looks at me. I never want to be the object of his dissapointment. I want to be the catipult for his blessing and joy. 

When God does bring that man into my life, and opens my eyes to him, I want to be nothing less than all these things as well. I want to serve him - because in so doing, I will be serving the Lord. I want to be his confirmation of the Lord speaking. I want to be a blessing to his spirit and encourage him to walk more closely with Jesus; the closer that He is with Jesus then the closer I can be to him. I want to be a prophecy fulfilled in his life and I want nothing less than him to Know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has spoken us into life together. anything short of that, is short of what Jesus has for us. The Lord speaks if only we will listen. Sometimes he is silent - but He is only teaching us how we ourselves can be silent so that when He does say something - even a whisper is udeniable when you have been sitting in silence. The Lord knows what He is doing.

I will wait on Jesus. He knows my hearts desires, and He will give me the desires of my heart. I do not have to fear the actions of others because they do not determine my relationship with Jesus. My Hope is in Him and I trust in Him to carry out the promises He has given to me. No matter how long the wait - His answer is worth it. 

presence

Last night was Worship night at faith assembly. It was amazing. :) i looove worshiping our king with other people. It doesnt happen nearly enough for me. I love to dance in worship so when they told everyone they could come to the front, I went to the side so i could have my space. dont wanna be hitting people while i dance lol. while I was over there I noticed another woman that stood beside me. I dont know this girl at all but I see her often at my old youth group. she is a sister in worship for sure! we seriously looked at each other, had silent confirmation and joy and they we both just started dancing in woship, I love it! and i told her so afterward too :) another thing that I always end up doing is turning and looking at everyone who is worshipping. To see a group of people lifting their hands to the Lord and singing in unison; that brings me to my knees. I cant imagine what the Lord feels who is receiving the worship and praise. How it must warm his heart.
In the middle of a song, they started singing a line that said "you bring us back to where it all began..." and went on from there. well until that moment I had completely put it out of my mind but at that exact altar is where I rededicated my life to christ almost 7 years ago. He really had brought me back to where His Transformation of my life began. I could remember vividly the way I felt. sitting in one of the back rows with a group of my friends. The altar call was being made. I didnt feel the need to respond, I was already saved. I knew who God was. but the speaker kept calling over and over again. at that point my head was down and my eyes were focused on the abise of the mind. Then I felt a hand take mine. and I got up, i didnt realize till that moment that I was crying. and I was also shocked to realize that there was no one there holding my hand, but it felt like someone was. I passed my my friends sitting in their seats, who were rather suprised to see me walking toward the front. The funny thing is so was I. but the whole time I felt like holy spirit just took my hand, guided me to the altar and held it while I spoke my heart to the Lord. My life has never been the same.
Now here I was worshipping the king of kings at the same altar, blessing the lord. and the altar was filled with people lifting their hands to him. Its funny that I was giving glory to God yet I was being overwhelmed by who He is. Jesus is so good.
near the end I went to the back so I could actually dance and not be in  anyones way and I searioulsy couldnt stop laughing in my spirit the whole time. Im sure I looked ridiculous. but it was soo good. to get down in the presence of the lord.

God is so worthy of all that we are. In every moment. with every word we breath, with every move of our hand He is worthy to be worshipped. I dont want to take a step where He is not walking. I dont want to speak a word that is not honoring. I want to look with his eyes and listen with His spirit and speak with His wisdom. because He is worthy and requires nothing less than that. Me.